Imposter syndrome is starting to settle after 5 years since I entered the field and all it took was hella rejection to get here š„¹
Once upon a time, my former boss called me out of nowhere to ask if it was true that I was looking for another job bc a recruiter had apparently told her they saw my active profile on Indeed. I told her noā¦ my profile was always active because that was simply how I had it set upā¦ But since we were on the subject, I did ask about a potential raise bc she āforgotā to connect with me one year about it.
Three weeks later, I was fired for something she claimed was completely unrelated.
At the time, I didnāt argue. I accepted it because, deep down, I was absolutely tired of her pettinessā¦ & tired of the pettiness of so many other āHR Directorsā before her who acted like children and not adults. So I left in peace and felt a huuuuge weight off my shoulders.
For a long time, I had felt like I was constantly being watched and tested. I would get random Teams calls just to see where I was or what I was doing. If there was an unfamiliar noise in the background, Iād immediately get questioned about it. Whatās that noise? Where are you? I thought you lived in a house. That sounds like an apartment.
It constantly felt like someone was trying to catch me doing something wrong, and it was exhausting. I used to wonder why you would hire someone to work remotely if you needed to be āin the knowā & virtually over their shoulder at all times. Made no senseā¦ Felt like a micromanaged little kid.
After losing that job, I was unemployed for about 5 months.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I received 4 job offers back-to-back š„¹
I accepted 1 with a Fortune 200 company making $30,000 more than I had been making before.
Iām still here today, and Iām not going to lieā¦ the workload mad is heavy & sometimes I feel like Iām going to catch a stroke trying to understand a new industry & meet deadlines. But my team is amazing.
Leadership gives me genuine autonomy. Iām not bombarded with random calls or made to feel like someone is checking whether Iām really working.
Meetings and conversations are scheduled, so I know whatās coming and have an opportunity to prepare instead of constantly feeling blindsided. Decisions that affect my work include me rather than being made in a silo.
Most importantly, my team is empathetic and collaborative instead of competitive. That might sound normal to some people, but it is completely new to me.
I come from a long history of feeling undervalued professionally and dealing with workplace harassment, bullying, and leadership that made me question myself. So being in an environment where Iām trusted, respected, and actually empowered to do my job has been incredibly refreshing.
And being offered $30,000 more than I was making before, landing me in 6 figures for the first time in my life š I finally feel like someone saw the value of my experience.
Since joining, Iāve also been recognized multiple times for the quality of my reports and case synopses. Thereās something incredibly validating about being praised for the same level of detail I was once criticized for and told to stop doing.
It took 10 years.
(Been in Corp America for 10 years & almost 5 years in HR)
Ten years to finally find a company and a team where I feel like what I bring to the table is actually valued.
And as painful and scary as those five months of unemployment were, I can look back now and be grateful for them.
I had time to rest, recuperate, reset, and ultimately position myself for an opportunity that was so much better for me. I donāt think Iāve ever felt this grateful for a team in my professional life.
So, to anyone dealing with workplace harassment, leadership that never empowers you, or unemployment that has you wondering whether anything better is comingā¦ keep on keeping on.
Even the biggest underdog can make a comeback.
Rejection truly is redirection for better alignment. :)